Who Are You When You Game? Discovering Identity in Online Worlds
By Ambrose Fider
When I first dipped my toes into the world of online gaming, I didn’t expect it to challenge me emotionally, socially, and creatively. What began as an escape quickly became a window into the rawest corners of human behavior. Some players wear personas like armor—brash, fearless, ruthless. Others, like me, show up as their true selves, for better or worse.
And that’s where my journey really began.
Gaming With Authenticity: Why I Choose to Be Me
I’ve often heard people say, “It’s just a game,” or “I play someone else online.” But for me, there’s no switch. Whether I’m at work, talking with a friend, or repairing a ship in-game, I’m still me— mostly quiet, until I get to know you. Curious, and (sometimes to my detriment) kind. My upbringing taught me to treat others the way I wanted to be treated. That remains my compass, even when I’m navigating the stormy waters of in-game chat.
But it’s not always easy.
Lately, I’ve found it harder to stay silent in the face of toxicity. The name-calling, the belittling, the digital chest-thumping—it’s exhausting. I can’t stand watching people tear others down in a space that should be about fun, strategy, and shared adventures. It’s especially troubling knowing many players are younger and may not yet fully understand the weight of their words.
When Online Harassment Becomes Real-Life Danger
There’s a darker side to online gaming that’s impossible to ignore: doxxing and swatting. If you’re unfamiliar with those terms, here’s a chilling summary:
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Doxxing is when someone digs into your personal information—social media, real name, location—and weaponizes it against you.
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Swatting is even more horrifying: calling in fake police emergencies to someone’s real address, triggering armed responses that have tragically resulted in innocent deaths.
All of this... over a video game.
Where is the line? And more importantly, why is it being crossed?
Staying True in the Game World
Despite all of this, I still play. Why? Because I love the game. I love the open seas, the roar of cannon fire, the thrill of a well-timed maneuver. I might always be what some call a “forever bob” (newbie), and yes, I sometimes panic in battle, (Okay let's be completely honest here I always panic) I fumble controls. I worry I’ll let my team down.
But I show up.
In my novels, Ambrose is a confident, renowned captain—respected and powerful. In-game, I’m just me. But through the friendships formed, the late-night laughs, the epic fails, and the surprising victories, something beautiful has emerged: the world that inspired my book series, The Crimson Legacy, I can't say that enough it seems.
Yes, the characters, the drama, the alliances—they’re rooted in real in-game experiences and the people I met along the way. Without them, without this strange and powerful digital playground, my story would not exist.
So, to those who sail alongside me—whether friend or foe—thank you. You are a part of this world I’m creating. And for that, I am deeply grateful.
Let’s Keep Gaming Human
The next time you log in, ask yourself: Who are you when you game?
Are you hiding? Or are you showing up as the best version of yourself? There’s no right answer. But in a world where pixels can blur into real-life consequences, kindness, authenticity, and empathy go a long way.
Until next time, Lovelies,
Always,
Ambrose Fider