When I first began writing The Crimson Legacy, I wasn’t sure I was setting out to become an author. I was simply trying to breathe life into the wild, chaotic tangle of thoughts, emotions, and daydreams swirling inside my mind. I had a vision—half-fantasy, half-heartache—and I wanted to see if I could turn it into something real.
But if I’m honest, self-doubt was the very first challenge I faced—and it’s one that still whispers from the shadows.
Where the Doubt Began
Self-doubt has followed me like a shadow for most of my life. Not because I lacked creativity or imagination, but because somewhere along the way, I let the words of others take root. Those offhanded criticisms, the subtle jabs, the “you’ll never be” statements—they stuck with me, shaping how I viewed myself and what I believed I could achieve.
So when I finally sat down to write a story, it wasn’t just ink and imagination—I was fighting years of internalized noise.
“Who are you to write a book?”
“No one will care about your words.”
“You won’t finish, and even if you do, no one will read it.”
These weren’t fleeting fears. They were echoes from a past that had convinced me I wasn’t enough.
Writing Through the Fear
And yet… I wrote anyway.
Not fast. Not always confidently. But I wrote—on napkins, notebooks, my phone, anything I could grab when inspiration struck. And little by little, something began to shift. The self-doubt didn’t vanish—but it softened. Because something louder began to emerge: hope.
There was also another spark that kept me going—support. A small circle of friends, colleagues, and later even a few readers who believed in me. Most of my writing journey was kept private at first. I didn’t want outside opinions to shape it too soon. If I was going to do this, I had to do it on my own terms, free from the judgment and expectations I’d battled for so long.
The Moment Everything Changed
Publishing my first book was terrifying. Honestly, I think I spent more time editing than writing. I was my own worst critic. The day I was supposed to hit “Publish,” I sat in front of the screen for what felt like forever. My finger hovered over the mouse. My heart pounded. My inner voice screamed for me to run.
I remember thinking, “This is the moment I either prove my doubts right… or prove them wrong.”
That same day, a friend called. I don’t even remember what she was coming by for—but I’ll never forget her words:
“If you haven’t pushed that button by the time I get there, I’m going to push it for you.”
I took a deep breath… and clicked.
Choosing Courage Anyway
Releasing the second book was just as nerve-wracking. But I’ve learned something incredibly important:
Courage isn’t the absence of doubt—it’s creating anyway, even when doubt screams the loudest.
This is just the beginning of a blog series on the challenges I’ve faced as an indie author—everything from managing time and money, to navigating marketing, to finding readers in a crowded world. Each post will explore a new chapter in this journey, with the highs, lows, lessons, and breakthroughs.
To the Dreamers Who Doubt
If you’ve ever questioned your worth, your talent, or whether your story matters—this is for you.
You are enough. Your story does matter. And the world needs more voices like yours.
If this post spoke to you, share it with someone else who might need a little courage today. And don’t forget to subscribe, leave a comment or follow to catch Part 2: coming soon.
With heart,
Ambrose Fider
Indie Author | Dreamer | Doubter Who Writes Anyway